desire for dissonance.

all throughout the recording of this album, i have had in mind to communicate an inexorable, lurking representation of evil. i would have liked the record to have some kind of stasis between the aesthetically melodic, and that which is malevolently menacing. i'm currently in the frame of mind that the whole thing is a stupid failure and i haven't achieved this at all.
i know for certain that the next record will adhere much more strictly to these principles - thematically it is necessary to reflect this balance.
it is much, much harder to achieve dissonance than melody (or at least to get it right), and i feel i've only achieved this partially. nonetheless, i have to stop thinking this way or i will never move on. i've learned a lot through the recording process, so one can only build upon experience.

i had the idea that i would reflect the 'uncanny' nature of dreams and nightmares - the record is more like a waking dream...or a dubious perspective of reality. hopefully this comes across at all on there at some points. what i desire to leave behind with this record is sentimentality.

i'm debating whether to list the influences of this record, reflexively, or just to leave it up to the listener to pick up those references, which i assume would add to the enjoyment of the record. there are a few deliberate references to writers/musicians, which tie together quite neatly...hopefully this will not be seen as plagiarism.

i'm really just thinking out thoughts here. i suppose it is also nice to have some further information on the process (if there was anyone who was actually interested), for when the material is completed.


i tried recording some new demos today, but i just don't have enough equipment/money. everything sounds sickeningly dull and predictable. the aim for the next week is to develop a new method of creation - perhaps recording like i did in the summer of 2003...i recorded several songs a day, and did not think too hard on what they were or whether they were artistically promising. i still have all these on my laptop. some developed into bigger ideas, most didn't.
the aim would be to capture spontaneity, serendipity, and transmute ideas in their purest, freshest form.